Thursday, September 24, 2009

People I may not be tougher than

Dolph Lungren
Ralph Macciao (spelling)
Connecticut's Attorney General (Richard 'Harry' Blumenthal)
The entire troupe of Oingo Boingo
My girlfriend-her kung fu's much stronger
Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
and of course...

Duke Nukem

My shoes stink like shit...

And not because of my ravenous athlete's foot. My job took me to a real bad area of the city with the task of cleaning the streets and abandoned lots. The driveway and garage we cleaned was covered in dog? shit. I had to drive with the windows down all the way home. I blame the minorities, masons, republicans, moon men, and Karl Rove.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Blenderz Crucial Sports Hut...One of the greatest viral videos.

I did not know there was so much flipping in Gay Ballroom Dancing!

Downward Spiral of Porn

Does anyone ever notice the downward spiral of pornography. It starts all nice and clean with the Victoria's Secret catalog or a playboy. Then came porn videos (on VHS, yes) which was taboo and fun. You'd have to borrow a friend's friend movie, or watch it with guys, which kind of took some of the specialness away, unless it was gay midget porn.

Then the Internet came. It started with slow downloads of naughty pictures from chat rooms, occasionally the illicit and weird pics would come through your email. Besides getting viruses (not the good kind like Chlamydiae), it was less than exciting after hours downloading.

Then internet porn sites came. It started nice with the downloading of movies, all straight laced, girl on girl, or guy/girl. All of a sudden you find yourself not being able to get a hard-on with out looking at granny, or Brazilian Fart porn. I'm Just Sayin', KEEP IT COMING!!!#@!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


That last picture was a bit large. Just click on it to see the whole thing.
Anyways, right now, I'm attempting to be productive, but only in my head.
It's a mind game. If you think you're productive, then you are. Just like I think
I'm skinny and have all my hair, and what do you know, it's true.


Nic Cage Hair of The Day....

Self Loving?

Sunday, September 20, 2009

This is What a 56 Year Old Virgin Looks Like and Sounds Like

I found this off . This has to be a value voter of some sort. "I'm technically a virgin." I wouldn't even hit that.

Monday, September 14, 2009


Is Awesome. I force all women (men) I date to partake. Long live teabagging!!!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

This movie haunts my dreams, And I haven't seen it.

The Movie the Human Centipede is killing my dreams and haunting my waking life.

It's about a mad scientist (doctor) who used to be a world renowned Siamese twin surgeon. He took his job a bit far, creating a three dog. The surgeon's view of humanity is a bit twisted. It's his dream to create a human centipede, by attaching people together.

He accomplishes this by attaching three kidnapped victims together, mouth to ass. The pictures, as you will see aren't graphic, but they definitely leave nothing to the imagination. The guy cuts tendons at the knees, removes teeth, and fuses mouths to asses.

The movie is supposedly the first in a planned trilogy. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I now cannot get an erection without looking at these pictures. Oh my! Kidding. It's fucked up though.

Friday, September 11, 2009

I am tougher than all of these people!

Except the "I hope you like Pain" guy.

New Segment...People I'm tougher than.

I'm tougher than this guy.

I wrote this movie about me....

It's an autobiographical piece. Unfortunately, the fucking hollywood execs tore apart the movie. They left my climactic scene on the cutting room floor and opted for the cliched ending. The scene was filmed in the latest in CGI technology and cost 145 million dollars.

My ending had my character (me) skiing down the sides of Mount Fuji, doing back scratchers, spread eagles, and scissors, all the while cutting katana wielding Velociraptors in half. I am going to release a director's cut, mark my words.