Get Paid to Take Dumps...

I am writing a book (probably not) about how you too can get paid for going number 2. It's an amazing concept. I'll run down the basics and you can go from there. It's simple, and easy to follow.
Step one: Hold it, until you get to work!
two: Wait till you get into work, give it a bit.
three: take a short pottie break (I'd say 20 min is okay)
four: relax, take your time, read, do a crossword puzzle, twitter on your phone, etc
five: Finish up, no one can say anything to you.
six: repeat at least once a day.

At the end of the day, if you're hourly and say make 12 dollars and hour (I know that's not too much) You've spent 40 min in the bathroom, that's $8.00 for your dumps. Take that, corporate world.

My personal success story ranges from dumps in the Army, Security, Substitute teaching, and Labor. You too can be wildly successful!

One of the Best Videos of All Time

EMBED-Drunkest Guy Ever Goes for More Beer - Watch more free videos

This guy's high on ether. It's long yes, but watch beginning and the end, the end yes. Classic.

Things I've Learned....From Indiana Jones

There's a Grail
Germans-Can't trust them
Indians (from sub continent India) are badass and can rip hearts out
Muslims train monkeys to do nefarious deeds
Hitler was indeed right handed or left-I can't recall
Old people are awesome
You can drive motorcycles through Yale's Library
Aliens like created society
Religions mash together and are all true or something
Whips can solve any problem, including that one where your girlfriend's been naughty
Archeologists have the best jobs ever

Speaking of HoboErotica>>>

If that doesn't get your jimmy in a twist, I don't know what will. Maybe this???@?!

Screenplay

If anyone ever wants to read my screenplay, I will send it to you email address. It's a sweet comedy with homoerotic undertones about two stoner dishwashers.

I would have written it with HOBOEROTIC undertones, but the censors and hollywood phonies stomped the idea into the dirt.

On The Ground

Normally this stuff is okay, but I love the lines about "hollywood phonies trying to give me their autographs." And the birthday cake.

Murder Wasn't the Case!!!

I listen to rap. That's about it. It's pretty sweet. Though, I'm not entirely sure their hood is as tough as anything I've grown up in.
Greenwich, Conn or Fairfield, Conn
(not my real hometown, but close)